a-cook-by-luck..by one minute...

i had such a craving for fishballs.. I've been waiting in our block for vendors who could satisfy my hankering, so much as they can profit from the hunger I had.. as much as I'd hope.. no fishballs. no nothing.. so I let it pass.. one time I dropped by the grocery store and saw in their huge rectangular fridge a number of uncooked packs of fishballs.. i never wanna stage a cooking stunt in our kitchen..but what the hell.. 47 pesos.. not bad right? so i bought just a pack to feed me for a week maybe..or If im really hungry..a day.. i searched the net..thank God for google and a few forums as they got almost everything that i need to know during this pressing need of mine.. I typed.. fishball sauce.. and there I got unanimous answers to perfect a sauce for my fishball..pretty much like how Manong Fishball could have made them.. The list includes.. sugar, vinegar, soy sauce and flour.. and you could add spices of your own.. oh and sprite too.. so I mixed them up.. and first sauce came out with too much vinegar that it smells like puke.. so out to trash it went... 2nd batch. came out quite too sweet which my sister loved.. but I persoanlly didn't so I let her have at it.. 3rd was rather too salty.. hmmm.. I fed it to the dogs.. and the 4th batch as I was getting frustrated.. I added a few more spices like garlic.. onion.. some seasoning.. I served it hot.. I then fried the fishballs.. and it was phenomenal.. PERFECT! and when i say perfect.. I mean it was like how Manong Fishball could've made it.. my brother and little sister could testify.. it was delicious.. i nailed it this time.. we finished it in less than half an hour.. i craved no more...
the next day.. we still have half a pack of fishballs lying around.. so I fried them.. then I had to cook my phenomenal sauce again.. and as luck would have it.. i've been to my 4th batch yet again. and i couldn't get the same exact taste.. it just went either too bland or too tasty.. and i tried mixing both and it's a taste of disaster.. I guess i just got lucky... by one minute.. one time...

my NCLEX experience...

I took the NCLEX last monday and boy was it hard... i thought it was the hardest thing i have ever put my self into..it was literally an agonizing battle that i couldnt have imagined..no pun intended! i got to my seat trying to convince myself that i can work past it.. computer shut off at 75.. i had like 20 SATA's. i know cause i took count of them appearing one after the other.. my 3rd question was already a SATA and I was stunned.. i wasnt prepared for a SATA early on.. but kept moving.. and kept having more of those.. i had to stop at 30 items to seek for an early break and had to catch my breath.. i offered my sincerest prayers and tried to power thru the test.. i was hoping i could move past 75 cause i knew i did terrible on those SATa's..but as fate would have it..it just had to end at 75. i left the booth stunned and speechless. i was shaking like crazy.. I wasnt prepared for such enormous stress that all i could do when i got home was curl up and cry... This stress could actually kill me. Just for information's sake.. i had 20 SATA's, tons of med questions.. even SATA's bout meds (and i thought it wouldn't get harder than that)... no math.. had one ecg tracing to point out...countless prioritization and infection control...a number of psych and peds questions... up until now i'm still waiting for the verdict of the NCLEX people.. please do pray for me and the rest of the NCLEX takers who are hoping for good results...
just a piece of advice for those who are to take the exam... NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE THE NCLEX... it sure is one hell of a jaw breaker....

i am in this place...

I am finally in this place.. hardly ever defined....

It's like you become so crazy that something imagined suddenly becomes so real that you'd yearn that time wouldn't pass a minute faster...

It's like making an instantaneous vow that today is a testament of your forever...

It's earning money for 22 years.. and splurging it for an object of promise.. with no hint of resentment..

It's fighting...and fighting back...and fighting some more...

It's saying forever.. without stuttering...

It's putting a grip of the fear... of losing... of exceeding..

It's staring...without undue squinting...

It's as if your heartbeat resounds beyond all borders...

I am in this place...

I am....

in love....